ninjaRuru AnoaMina AsaSasa Handa
Oppai Chanbara: Striptease Samurai Squad
Medium: film
Year: 2008
Director: Akira Hirose
Country: Japan
Language: Japanese
Keywords: boobs, ninja
Actor: Ruru Anoa, Mina Asa, Yoichi Matsuda, Sasa Handa, Ryo Akanishi, Shouichi Matsuda
Format: 66 minutes
Website category: J-sleaze
Review date: 19 February 2019
Another day, another trashy straight-to-video flick starring hardcore porn stars! Is this film good? Absolutely not. It's nonsense and if you watch it, that'll just be an hour of your life you won't get back. That said, though, it's also moderately entertaining and has its good points.
The plot involves a girl who time-travels back 300 years to a time of ninja. Fortunately she's mastered Sayama Hashinryu, a killing technique that's only passed down among women! Going topless in battle makes your boobs will glow in multiple colours and you'll defeat your enemies! (Later on in the film, you'll even become capable of catching sword blows in your cleavage.)
This is silly, of course, but it knows it. I also quite like the lead actress. Her voice has a bit of a nasal quack, but she has some naturalism and charm. I wouldn't go so far as to say that she can act, but she's fairly watchable and she can carry a scene on her personality. (Even if she does sometimes sound like a duck.) The rest of the cast is variable, though, not always reaching even our heroine's not particularly elevated level. Ruru Anoa isn't too successful as the villainness, while one of her henchmen manages to be one of the worst actors you've seen this year, despite saying no lines and wearing a ninja outfit that only shows his eyes.
They've also gone to some effort with the sword fighting. It's in the title, after all. ("Chanbara" means "sword fighting".) None of the cast is really a swordsman (keep your dirty jokes to yourself), but even so I'd say it's better than, say, what Doctor Who managed in The Girl Who Waited.
The time travel angle is more interesting than you'd think, too. There's some potential unhappening in the second half and a really weird bit at the end. Apparently Sayama Hashinryu is a technique that was invented by a man (which figures) and I'm mildly disturbed by the implication of what Granny says. Does everyone do that, then?
This is not a good movie. All my praise should be understood to be in the context of a light-hearted waste of time. My thoughts at the half-hour mark were, "Okay, that's enough. We don't need any more of this film." There's also an amusingly low-budget childbirth scene. (It should say everything that I was surprised when the mother didn't get up afterwards and do topless sword fighting, despite having just given birth. I wonder if the director cut the relevant scene?) However the film's reasonably sort of okay, by the standards of this kind of thing, and it's even making weak efforts to have a message and a theme.
It's still mostly swordfighting and boobs, though.