Bloody hell, it's bad. I was polite about this film in 2018, but this time I'm on a PreCure marathon and I can see how badly it stinks compared with the rest of the franchise. Hell, it stinks compared with anything. It's the worst thing ever released under the name "PreCure". The problem is KiraKira's "Cooking Sweets" theme.
A patissier called Jean-Pierre is developing a recipe for the Ultimate Sweet. The girls visit Paris, where Ciel does a demonstration of how she cooks sweets. She's going to enter a sweet-cooking contest. There's a forgettable token fight with a monster, then the girls visit a sweets convention. Fairies eat sweets. Ciel meets Jean-Pierre and they discuss how to cook sweets. There's a flashback about sweets-cooking. Ciel tries to make sweets. Jean-Pierre tries to make sweets.
Then, after half an hour, SOMETHING HAPPENS! A fairy called Cook creates dessert monsters that rampage in Paris and make gingerbread houses. There's a baking powder explosion and a frozen-over kitchen.
Not long after that, the film goes even further and becomes good. The girls turn into comedy animals that can't fight. Turtle, penguin, sloth, panda, crayfish... this is cool and adorable. (It's as if these are the goofiest ideas from the original brainstorming to dream up the Kirakira animal themes, rejected but kept in a drawer because they were funny.)
Unfortunately, the sweets return.
Despite their animal handicaps, the girls defeat Cook's monsters. The Mahoutsukai PreCures get a heroic cameo. After that, it's back to the tooth-rotters. Cook turns Jean-Pierre and various Paris landmarks into sweets. The sweetified Jean-Pierre collects sweets from around the world. We learn that Cook's villainous because she failed to be a patissier and blames humans for not understanding her sweets. Ciel decides to save Jean-Pierre by feeding him sweets, so they cook sweets. Jean-Pierre eats the sweets and returns to normal, to make more sweets. Cook merges with the ultimate sweet and creates special animal sweets, but the girls defeat her by spraying cake decorations.
Later, there are more sweets and the girls cook different sweets.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
I'm not joking. That wasn't an exaggeration. They really turned that into a film.
There are good things here, although it's lipstick on a corpse. The film can be funny. The animal PreCures are genuinely great, while there's comedy for both Ciel and Cook. I liked Ciel's headbutts.
It's nice to see the Mahoutsukai PreCures again, even if it's basically a few cameos. They get to be heroic. That show had its problems too, but I still love Mirai, Riko and Haa-chan and seeing them here woke me up. Mind you, technically they should have been in their post-timeskip 19-year-old forms, as per Mahoutsukai PreCure!
ep.50 when they met KiraKira's Ichika. Well, the Dream/All Stars movies would ignore that too.
Oh, and there's an unrelated six-minute short at the beginning. The fairies from three PreCure seasons make sweets, but on the upside a yellow dragon snake comes out of the cooking bowl and tries to eat them.
In short, it's dreadful. It also extends the show's linguistic hate crimes, e.g. "totemo c'est bon desu yo". This French-Japanese mix might translate as "It it is is very good." In fairness, though, the background French text looked okay to me. In 2018, I thought this film was flawed. Now, I'd call it a crime against PreCure.