Candice RialsonLarry GelmanJane KeanArlene Martel
Medium: film
Year: 1977
Director: Tom DeSimone
Writer: Tom DeSimone, Mark Rosin, Norman Yonemoto
Actor: Candice Rialson, Larry Gelman, Jane Kean, Perry Bullington, Arlene Martel, Michael Taylor, Cynthia Hoppenfeld, Robert Lipton, Rip Taylor, Irwin Corey, Sandra Gould, Trent Dolan
Keywords: boobs, comedy, didn't bother finishing it
Country: USA
Format: 73 minutes
Website category: Comedy
Review date: 4 February 2011
I got twelve minutes into this one. It's not unwatchable, mind you. I wasn't in pain and it would have been perfectly possible for me to have kept going. I just couldn't be bothered. It's too annoying and stupid. I looked at the clock and saw that if I bailed, I'd have time to watch another instalment of The Sarah Jane Adventures, so that's what I did.
This is thus not going to be an insightful review. I'll say what I thought, but it's only based on a seventh of the movie.
Candice Rialson plays a woman with a talking vagina. She acted in trashy movies in the 1970s and seems both pretty and likeable. Furthermore the film also begins with a sex scene and Rialson's breasts, so that's another important criterion satisfied. However the film thinks it's a comedy, which it defines as the following:
(a) Rialson's vagina says crude and sexually explicit things, causing misunderstandings.
(b) for example, it talks dirty to a lesbian. Within ninety seconds, this lady has stripped to the leather dominatrix outfit she was wearing under her clothes. Rialson's boss then walks in, says, "sorry, this must be a private office" and runs outside again, only to return two seconds later, saying "it's my private office!" Oh, the hilarity.
(c) this gentleman is a camp middle-aged twat in a blonde bouffant wig and a dark porn star moustache. He's a Comedy Character, you see.
(c) a man falls over for no reason, twice.
It's annoying. It's like a six-year-old's idea of comedy, but with nudity. I understand it later gets sillier, with musical intermezzos and a happy ending with a twist. Those sound good. Someone should put them in a film that's not making bad Carry On movies look like Ingmar Bergman. I'll watch any amount of trash, but this was the wrong kind of trash. Thumbs up for the sleazy idea and the pretty girl they talked into taking part in it, but thumbs down for the execution. Next!