Onechanbara is a computer game series about two sword-wielding sisters, Aya and Saki, in a world of zombies. Aya wears a bikini and a cowboy hat. Saki wears a Japanese schoolgirl uniform.

These games have also had two movie adaptations. This is the first of them. I hated it.

The problem is the fight scenes, even though I think they're just being faithful to the game. Everything else is fine. The acting's better than you'd think, especially since there's a non-fighting character played by Tomohiro Waki. He's nothing special, but he's competent and he can handle emotional material.

Those fights, though, are just stupid. I don't mind over-the-top, but that's taking the piss. Zombies do athletic martial arts moves and attack with difficult weapons, but will explode if hit with a sword. (This feels so much like a video game effect that it must be a homage.) Our heroines can leap like Spider-Man and parry a hail of bullets with their swords. Yes, every bullet, one after another in quick succession. Kicking someone will hurl them about thirty feet as if shot from a rocket launcher. Reiko can use her two-shot double-barrelled shotgun in rapid succession with no recoil or reloading. There are also Very Very CGI blood sprays.

Sorry, but no. All that lost me. Immediately not interested. It's bollocks. The rest of the movie is okay, but I already didn't care. That said, though, any scene with a non-combatant is respectable, while the film gives everyone who matters an emotional family connection. Sister, daughter, father, etc... they'll be dead, or they killed your father, or they've been bitten and you've got to kill them before they eat you. I quite liked Tomohiro Waki. (He's fat and can't really fight, so he's a male damsel in distress.) There's also a baddie (Taro Suwa). Even the girls mostly do okay with their roles, even the one playing Aya who hardly ever speaks because she's the stoic, silent type. The only exception is the one who goes topless and has an inadequate reaction after pulling away her boyfriend's severed arm while he's being devoured by zombies.

The result is a mismatch. Those fights are silly as hell and wanted to be in a trashier story with camp and sleaze. The straight scenes are reasonably good (albeit dour and humourless) and the actors are taking them seriously. Unfortunately, these things don't work alongside each other. They could have, but the film's not good enough to handle the tonal clash. I got bored. Instead of this, watch Oppai Chanbara: Striptease Samurai Squad from the same year. It's silly trash, but it knows it and it's fun.