JapaneseYuma Asami
Midnight Angel
Also known as: Yonaoshi Kanno Kissa
Medium: film
Year: 2011
Keywords: boobs, superhero
Country: Japan
Language: Japanese, English [random snippets]
Actor: Yuma Asami
Format: 75 minutes
Url: http://www.amazon.co.jp/gp/product/B004HCCB72
Website category: J-sleaze
Review date: 15 September 2011
It's another Yuma Asami pink film! It's also the best thing I've seen her in to date, although that's a bar so low that clearing it only required watching the whole film in real time. Ninja She-Devil has 45 minutes of story and 30 minutes of softcore sex, while Shimokita Glory Days has eleven amiable but moronic episodes I'm never going to watch. (Yes, eleven. I recently made the mistake of seeing episode two, which was no more intelligent than episode one and had less nudity.)
Midnight Angel on the other hand has amusement value. Sometimes it even made me laugh.
It's a superhero parody, but a specifically Japanese one. Yuma Asami's playing an anime heroine, complete with talking animal sidekick, music and a little dramatic speech she'll spout every time she shows up on the scene, while doing stock poses. It thus seems odd that she doesn't also have a nude magical transformation sequence like Sailor Moon, Cutey Honey and all the others, but I suppose the CGI would have been too much for the budget.
The surprise is that the parody element is quite well done and central to the film. Asami's enemies will go on menacing their victims without actually harming them until Asami arrives, even if this means waiting for her to: (a) finish having sex, or (b) do a seven-day exercise regime to lose weight and squeeze into her costume again. (She then shows up in a new outfit anyway, unzipped from her neck almost to her navel.) Supervillains will walk into a cafe like any other customer. Asami's magical attacks include her Boob Bomber and a football-kicking routine that misfires so badly that it kills her Hero Music and she has to do some desperate posing to the camera to get it started again. She has a Midnight Angel calling card which she throws at her enemies to stick in their foreheads... or, occasionally, the forehead of someone else standing nearby, who's done nothing wrong at all.
Oh, and her talking animal sidekick is a stag beetle, of the kind you can buy in Japanese pet shops in a little plastic pot with toxic-looking food pots of gunk. It's called Kabuto-kun and it gets represented by deliberately unconvincing models, none of which resemble any of the others. One is a balsa wood, another is metal and a third is rubber and dangling on the most goofily obvious strings you ever saw.
This is pretty good. Superhero parody isn't a new idea, but this film keeps it fresh by being so goofy about it. Look for instance at the first scene of Asami gets a guitar and starts singing "My name is Yuma Asami, this is a true story." (In other words, her actual name, not her character's.) That would have been surreal even without: (a) the person sitting next to her who doesn't hear anything, (b) the stage hand who walks onscreen with her lyrics on a piece of paper. A Carry On swannee whistle would almost be too classy and serious for the level of this film's gags. Everything Asami does can be assumed to be ridiculous, but then sometimes the film finds a way to keep raising the stupidity stakes until they've reached extraordinary heights of nonsense and I'll be laughing almost despite myself. Look at Asami's animal impersonations, for example. The cat is believable. Changing to a dog, less so. After that the mouse redoubles the ludicrousness, the elephant triples it and so on.
She's terrible at her job, though. I realise that's the point, but even so. She'll fight her villains... and then walk away. The next day, exactly the same villains will be committing exactly the same sexual offences all over again. In one scene Asami manages to arrive in the middle of the second rape. Um. However that's not as bad as it sounds, if only because it's hard to tell whether anything had happened at all. Men don't undress in this film even for sex, so all we saw was a clothed man lying on a naked woman and the audience doesn't know whether or not this needs decoding.
Besides, you can't take anything here seriously. No one gets hurt, or even upset. Asami can accidentally throw one of her cards into a woman's skull and a few minutes later the victim's perfectly all right.
Then there's the nudity.
This is blatant. It's also deliberately cheesy. I've found this kind of sleaze hilarious in the past, e.g. Kekko Kamen, Sukeban Boy, but I didn't find it particularly funny here because it's trying too hard. It's winking at us non-stop, yet what it's actually got to show isn't particularly outrageous. Sometimes it's like a saucy postcard, as for instance when Asami for no reason will appear to be performing fellatio on food items or musical instruments. Sometimes it's kind of offputting, e.g. the panty shots. There are gags about pathetic men who can't stop leering over Asami's boobs, but the film's including itself in this by doing silly and gratuitous shots that come across as making fun of itself and its genre.
Thus the first porn sequence is a cloud cuckoo-land fantasy from a man drooling over Asami. This is both (a) making fun of porn by drawing attention to the fact that it's a loser's wank material that has nothing to do with the real world, and (b) porn.
This movie is silly. It's probably slightly better than a Kekko Kamen live-action film, although there's not a lot in it. It's less repetitive, anyway. Watch this film if you want to see:
(a) Yuma Asami naked, although if that's all you want then you might be better off with titles like Amateur Actor Audition, BakoBako Gangbang 21 and Yuma Asami's High Class Soap Land.
(b) a Sean Connery impersonation in Japanese. Well, that's how it sounded to me, anyway.
(c) the apple gag. Mmmm, tasteful.
(d) someone who can run into a room screaming, then stop and look at everyone. Then, after a short pause, they resume and hysterically knock everyone in the room unconscious, be they hero or villain.
(e) men with holes cut in the seats of their trousers, not to mention bleeding haemorrhoids.
(f) the world's worst CGI (football practice).
(g) a boyfriend from whom Asami tries to hide her superhero identity for no other reason than genre convention.
(h) a finale scene that ends with people laughing unconvincingly.
(i) sex with a beetle.
I should mention that I was watching without subtitles, so there are things I don't understand. Why does Daisuke keep coming home to the rapists? However it's another entertaining pink film and I even quite liked Asami, who shows herself to be game for a laugh. It's short, being exactly the usual 75 minutes. It won't make you want to scour your brain with industrial cleanser afterwards. However the last word I think should go to the much-repeated Google-translated paragraph that right now is all the internet knows on the subject of this film.
"Actually Weekly" was serialized in erotic comedy or action of the original live-action comic popular Yuma Asami sexy actress. Midnight Angel in a hot topic in the subject of a cafe YUMA, Daisuke patrons of the store to witness the female victim in the accident unscrupulous talent.