Rinko Yanagisawa (Mizuki Hayakawa) is the director of a hospital she inherited from her missing father... and the problems she treats are generally an inability to have sex. That's something she and her accommodating nurses can fix! What ensues is boob-ridden nonsense, but it's also wacky enough to be memorable.

1. Shijimi plays a gender-bending werewolf who'll transform if shown a photograph of the moon. Big hairy eyebrows. Ridiculous pointy hair that looks like a hat. Claws like Wolverine's from the X-Men. She'll do topless gurning in a lurid red spotlight, then grow a penis and anally penetrate a surprised male patient. If he's lucky, another girl will also be involved for a sandwich threesome.

2. A mildly sinister bloke teams up with Big Boobed Nurse (Nina Nishimura, porn star, between I and K-cup) and they chloroform Rinko to use her in experiments. She wakes up tied to an examination table and gets fitted with a chastity belt and a remote-controlled vibrator. The baddies then give her strange orders. Rinko has lesbian sex with an old lady and does naked dancing in a public place. The latter is surreal, happy and starts a Pied Piper dancing chain of random strangers. It's fun. (This is an implausibly forgiving film, so Rinko's anti-punishment for her torturer after turning the tables is to have sex with him.)

3. Rinko's father is a UFO who can shoot down energy rays and teleport her naked to a hotel room. Dad, you're weird.

For a while, I was wondering if this film would even have a plot. It was looking like a bunch of random doctor-and-patient scenes with dodgy sexual angles. One boy can't get it up with his girlfriend, for instance, because he's into 2D characters from anime. Rinko dresses her up as Sailor Moon. The film eventually comes up with that baddie with vibrator-enforced orders, but his downfall is unconvincing (Nina Nishimura, you've got to be joking) and his punishment is actually a reward.

This film's a load of bollocks. Don't watch it. You'll be wasting your time. That said, though, it's also fairly crazy and definitely not bland. It has a bittersweet ending (what? why?) and until then had been light, fun and bizarre enough to stand out from the pack.