RobinCatwomanPoison IvyTwo-Face
BatFXXX: Dark Night Parody
Medium: film
Year: 2010
Director: Nicholas Steel
Writer: Paul Chaplin
Keywords: superhero, boobs
Country: USA
Actor: Paul Chaplin, Nick Manning, Madelyn Marie, Krissy Lynn, Isis Love, Anna Lovato, Alexa Nicole, Mark Davis, Pike Nelson, Mr. Pete, Tory Lane, Persia Pele
Format: 228 minutes, or 50 minutes (non-porn)
Series: << Batman >>, << Batgirl, << Joker, << Robin >>, << Catwoman >>, << Two-Face, << Poison Ivy >>
Website category: Batman
Review date: 21 September 2011
Unusually for a Batman porn parody, it's not Adam West pastiche but instead inspired by Christopher Nolan. What's more, they're doing that properly. You could mistake it for an official Batman film, at least until the sex begins.
For a start, look at that running time. Four hours! Even without the hardcore sex it's still a 50-minute movie, with proper costumes, lighting and mood. They work particularly hard at creating Gothard City's urban nightscapes, which I appreciated even though the cheap CGI is the main budget giveaway. There are fight scenes! Batman gets machine-gunned a lot and it always bounces off his body armour, which to me slightly misses the point of the character but might be an echo of the first Tim Burton film.
Apart from the CGI, this film's main problems are:
(a) porn star acting, unfortunately including Nick Manning's Batman.
(b) the plot. They lose it. They've come up with a decent story idea, with aphrodisiac effects of the Joker's gas, but they don't know how to turn this into a storyline. Instead it's just a bunch of scenes, all of which look convincing but together aren't really going anywhere.
(c) a underwhelmingly edited ending in which the Joker's death is thrown away. Don't blink or you'll miss it.
(d) silly name changes, e.g. The Jo-Kerr, Katwoman, Robina, etc. The daftest of these is Batfuck. That's hardly a name to strike terror into your enemies. That's more what they'll be calling you behind your back, as an alternative to Bat-dork or Bat-shit-for-brains.
Mind you, Bat-Chick's probably not wild about her name either.
The driving force behind this film arguably isn't its director, but instead one Paul Chaplin, who's the scriptwriter, producer and lead actor, playing the Joker. (Batman's a much smaller role.) He's clearly going for a Heath Ledger performance and as such surprisingly manages to be okay. He's hardly in Ledger's league, but he's putting everything he has into the role and at least managing to create a passable if overacted psychopath. He's dangerous. He likes knives. His best scene involves a gangster putting a price on his head (in French), which in time leads to an audience game of "guess the murder weapon". Flick knife? Explosive cigar? Black bag over the face? His eventual choice is slightly disappointing, but it's heartwarming that we get this on-screen murder at all.
However at the same time, he's also funny. I liked the surrealism value of his balloon, for instance, while his first fight scene with Batman made me laugh. "I know karate!"
The heroes and villains roster is quite big, but a lot of that is cameos. Robin's had a sex change and is now Robina, with the most obviously fake breasts of any actress here and a fondness for Adam West-era expletives. That was kind of annoying. She's the only person in the movie who's harking back to 1960s camp and it doesn't fit. Of the others, Catwoman gets a large part (fnarr fnarr), Poison Ivy manages to be a worse actress than Uma Thurman and Two-Face does it with Sugar and Spice from the first Joel Schumacher movie. And before you ask, no, this Sugar isn't Drew Barrymore.
As porn, it's more adventurous than Batman XXX and The Justice League of Pornstar Heroes. Orgies are the norm and the actors stay in character throughout, which can be kind of disturbing. It should also be noted that Nick Manning's Batman is deformed. Seriously, that's not normal. Does it reduce the blood supply to the rest of his body?
Overall, I was impressed. All it needed was a plot and it would have been better, with no irony, than certain official Batman movies. To modern eyes, it looks like the real thing. The CGI's rubbish, but I admire the ambition of what they're trying to do with it. The opening sequence in particular is mildly stunning. This could have been amazing if they'd managed to build on those first impressions, but unfortunately it drifts downhill instead as it becomes increasingly clear that the plot's just spinning its wheels. I still quite liked it, though.
Impressive cleavage on that policewoman, too.
"A lot of people ask me where I got this face. I tell them I got got it in a joke shop. Yup. It's called life."